Thursday, November 10, 2011

Dropping Emotional Clutter Like a Stone

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny. ~ Albert Ellis

I found this quote several years ago. It's been stuck to my fridge with a magnet ever since.

Adopting the attitude that you're responsible for your own life is freeing.

If you're not ready to accept that, it may feel like a burden. But, trust me, when you fully open yourself to letting go of all the baggage and clutter of the past, there's nothing but freedom in front of you.

You're no longer held down by other people's baggage.  You'll no longer be stuck in the muck of what others said or did to you years ago. I've heard all kinds of complaints, most of them silly, about what parents did or didn't do, said or didn't say, to their children as they were growing up. I've uttered many myself.

Your mom didn't go to your away games. Your dad said you were chubby. You were bullied by classmates. Your English teacher hated your writing. No one ever encouraged you. They laughed at your dreams. They didn't trust you. You were poor. They didn't feed you healthy food. The list could go on forever.

This is all clutter you can drop today. Right now.

It took me years to realize I was no longer defined by my childhood.

I had a childhood trauma. If I can drop my baggage. You can, too.

When I was six, my father was killed in a drunk driving accident. The other driver was at fault. It was devastating for our family. My mom struggled to raise the four of us on her own. But, she did it. Yet, believe it or not, I had a lot of complaints about how she raised us. Mind you, we were well cared for. We ate healthy food, had a warm home, relatives that loved us, lots of books and clean clothes every day. Maybe teenage and young adult daughters are destined to clash with their mothers. I don't know. Either way, I was quite unappreciative for awhile.

I held a lot of anger and bitterness about losing my father for years. Most people would have never known. But, it came out here and there, though less often as I got older. Still, life just seemed UNFAIR. Then, I read the above quote. And it all fell away like autumn leaves on a breezy day.

You can drop the emotional clutter. And, you can do it today.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln

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